Painted Into the Corner

Daichi Yuutamo’s Guide to Interdimensional Travel for Pleasure and Journalism

Step 1; Immediately proceed towards the highest point you can reach. This will provide you with a good vantage point to find news and interesting locations. Further, high places are most likely to lead to…
Step 2; Find the nearest Tengu, or similar avian people. Obviously, these will be the most intelligent and useful beings in the strange new land you’ve discovered. Introduce yourself and inquire about local information, laws, and customs. Impromptu gifts of sake or other alcohol will be a surefire way to ingratiate yourself to the natives; yet one more reason to keep your flask full and handy!

Step 3; Explore to your heart’s content, be sure to talk to every stranger at every opportunity, and document, document, document! When you return home, make sure your notebook is heavy with new information for articles!

Upon entering the Painted World of Ariamis, Daichi immediately set to following his own advice and took wing towards the high tower at the realm’s center. Even with the oppressive atmosphere, he was in high spirits… After all, this was a whole new place! What new foods and liquors were there to taste? Powerful women to interview? Oh yes, the Tengu practically buzzed with anticipation.

Very quickly, the reporter learned that the emaciated Hollows weren’t keen on conversation, and it only took two or three barely dodged sword swings before he took the hint… He didn’t bother landing for the grotesquely bloated things, nor the crazed Human with the yellow headgear. Upon seeing the Crow Demons though, Daichi sighed with relief. Finally, he mused as he landed and bowed in front of a small group, civilized people! ”Luk ba, cousins! I’ve traveled here from another realm, and I’m hoping you might have some time to chat!”

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Thirty seconds of shrieking, pecking, and getting beaten by their wings later, a very disheartened Daichi fled, and finally landed at the summit of the tower. Warily, he bowed to the huge woman with the imposing scythe, and prepared for further disappointment and/or violence. “Good day, Honored… I don’t suppose you’d be willing to talk? Maybe? Please?”

[[First world birb problems; I’d love to send Daichi to poke around in the Dark Souls blogs I’ve seen, but at the same time, I’d fear that he wouldn’t fit into Lordran’s mythos well. He’s a bit… Chipper for DS, me thinks.

The flipside, of course, is that if (read; when) things turned brutal and vicious, I’d get to write horrible injuries again, and that’s hard to turn down. Time will tell, of course.

Also, hello new people.]]

"Oh good… I’m an early warning system. Go team Tengu. Thanks."

At least he’s useful there, right?

"… Has anyone seen my blood? Seems to be missing."

redhornedoni:

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"Jeez, you really ARE weak. I even held back!"

"… Sefjisen lammeth-Ki’em, Honored Hoshiguma. Can I go now, please?"

Not that his broken limbs will carry him very far, but ya know.

redhornedoni:

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And she winds back! “Male oni are plenty tough! That’s no excuse! Come on, I’m sure your arm will stay attached! Maybe.”

"NONONONONONO!"

Crunch. Wham. Blood everywhere.

"MYBLOOD!SHEPUNCHEDOUTALLMYBLOOD!"

redhornedoni:

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"Come on now, Daichi! You’re always squawkin’ about all the good we did for yer kind, let’s see that strength you tengu are always goin’ on about!"

"IAMJUSTAMALEIDON’TFIGHTPLEASENOTHISISN’TWHATI’MGOODATYOUSHOULDGOPUNCHMSSHAMEIMARUORMSHIMEKAIDOU!ICAN’TFIGHTHELP!"

Maybe the noise will hurt Yuugi’s ears. That’s something, right?

perpetual-calendar:

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>New Post by @royalscarecrow

Here we go, it’s Ye Olde Loud Oni all over again. Typing from the shelters, totally happy about missing sleep, yup. #stopYOLO #LazyMikoWhere

@royalscarecrow

Please, for the love of the winds, someone help! #sufferingbird #mercyplease

redhornedoni:

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"Hey kid. Wanna play punchies?" There is no escape.

"I’MREALLYBADATPUNCHIESYOUWON’THAVEFUNHONOREDSHOULDN’TYOUPLAYPUNCHIESWITHMSKAZAMI?DOESN’TTHATSOUNDLIKEMOREFUN?"

He wants escape. Oh gods and the four Devas, he wants escape.

Distant rumbles and powerful shivers in the wind…

The Oni were getting restless. And punchy.

"Yepruna ba. To the shelters!"

Given the opportunity and time, if you had the ability to make another character for us to enjoy, and you were able to put as much time and effort as you had Daichi, what would it be? I'd cast a vote for dinosaur because dinosaurs are cool and Gensokyo needs one.

[[Opportunity and time? Sorry, I have to google the terms… Please standby.

Dinosaurs are cool, aren’t they? But far more talented hands have already crafted the most perfect dinosaur character already.

If we’re talking OCs, I’d probably make a Kappa. A surly and socially difficult girl, she’s working to create a machine to automatically extract the shirikodama from Humans and other terrible machines. She’d also wear a hardhat, because she’s serious business.]]

[[Whose writings constitute the biggest inspiration for Daichi's character and the particular style of narrative that surround him? What other fictional character would you say he resembles the most? Which writer would, in your opinion, be the most fitting writer of his exploits (barring yourself, of course)?]]

[[Okay, there’s really no way that this won’t sound absolutely stupid, but I based a great deal of Daichi’s initial personality on the fanon Aya stuff I had been swimming in… But even then, he was nebulous and only had vague notions of personality for quite a while. There wasn’t really a defining moment when the character crystallized into something either; instead, aspects of him just developed more or less randomly. Some stuck, others fell off almost immediately.

Either way, when I write the bird now, I try to imagine Tony Stark’s ego and drive jammed into Spider Jerusalem, and then make him less successful.

As for writers, there are a few worth noting: Robert Brockway and Seanbaby have both heavily inspired my (flailing attempts at) humorous storytelling, and you’re at fault for my purpled padding, but the rest is a host of scifi writers that are far too numerous to even begin listing. Lastly, of all the writers I’ve ever encountered, Spider Robinson would be most well suited to take up the Feathery Shitlord mantle.

Look at this cover, and tell me with a straight face that Daichi peeking around the corner with a grin would be out of place…

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Daichi would fall into Robinson’s writing style as easily and readily as gin into Johnny’s mouth hole.

Paul Neilan gets honorable mention as well, but if I had to pick a writer here, it would probably be you or Mimic. Jef has a deeper understanding of the character than anyone else I know, and others all have their merits, but stylistically, you two are the best fits. Plus, I like to see you and he suffer, so there’s that.]]

[[Why Reimu?]]

[[Come with me, Ruler, and we shall enter the Way Back Machine. Calibrate the transtemporal drive for the year 1990! We’re going back in time to assassinate me. Why? Because I remember it that way!

Anyway, it was almost three years ago when Daichi and Reimu met for the first time. They hit it off pretty quickly; he asked questions, she answered, and were it not for her injuries, they would have had a full interview. Alas, she was tired and requested a rain check. Later, she called the bird back, they talked some more, and the then nameless reporter was compelled to give her a smooch from some magic anon junk… The kiss was received warmly, and since Reimu was tired of just calling him ‘Tengu,’ she gave him the name he wears proudly to this day. Please ignore the fact that I misspelled his family name and back then, I was still writing with that horrible script style, so please forgive me that; I was still new here.

That’s really what got them started, and their relationship soon blossomed into a romance through skype nonsense and RP here.]]

On a scale of 0.0 to 9.0, how good (intense) of a Smasher is Wriggle?
Anonymous

monarchdeinsecta:

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10/10, best one around

"Pah. Ms Nightbug hits as hard as a Human with brittle-bone disease."

((So, Derek, what in the world possessed you to actually start working on a structured language to use for your tengu speak? Surely you must have some convincing reason for pouring so much time into it.))

[[Latent masochistic streak. Too much free time. Natural linguistic genius.

(Bad) Jokes aside, my RP background is more tabletop, and GMing at that, so I abhor a literary vacuum. When I read about how little of the Tengu culture was actually detailed, and realizing how big the hole really was, I simply treated it like a nation or culture in a DnD game that needed to be fleshed out.

Finding that arrogance, mischief, and a love for wordplay were prominent in the mythology, I simply threw ideas at that flimsy framework until it congealed into something workable. The notion of an ancient, and mostly forgotten, language always appeals to me, so that was simply one of the steps to flesh the birds out. Initially, I was just going to toss a few phrases and words out there, but it was too fun to stop. Rules developed as I needed them, puns and jokes were slipped into the vocabulary, and poof; here we are. As a neat little side note, some of the language and structure closely resembles Finnish by sheer coincidence. Not much, mind you, but some of it.

There you have it; the convincing reason is that it was fun and I like linguistic exercises.]]

Are you ready for twenty questions? No? Too bad! What made you start up Daichi and does it align with how you've taken him now? Are there things you regret writing for him or getting him into, maybe regret some of the changes he's had? Are there things you wanted to do with him that are closed off to you now or do you still think you can pull them off? If so what are those things you would have liked to do or think you can still do with him?

[[Alright, let’s get this train rolling, with Conductor Chibi at the helm!

Geizt is actually entirely to blame for my starting this blog! I stumbled across his ask blog not long after I discovered Touhou. So, I sent him a few anon asks, mostly to provoke Yuuka to violence, but felt vexed that I didn’t have a way of differentiating myself from the rest of the gray rabble. I began to send the questions signed “Anonymous Certainly Not With Bunbunmaru,” but even then, it didn’t fell sufficient… And then I discovered the rest of the community, with Dark and Wally and the rest. So many characters to inquire about!

One slapdash blog of a nameless Tengu later, and I was in business. In that regard, I’d say Daichi has stayed true to his purpose; poking into the headcanon and development of other characters. His own growth, from nameless boob to named boob with a brat, was an unforeseen consequence. Of course, I’ll never admit that, and will always claim that he was a directed experiment in organic growth/development… But the truth is, he was never meant to go anywhere. Shrug?

I don’t really regret anything here, to be honest… A few things I would have done differently, such as doing more with the racism and kept better track of the news going around for ITP issues, but over all, I’m happy with the birb and where he is. 

Do wish I could have gotten in that bout of hatesex with Hatate before he got hitched though. Finding a proper way to encourage the writer behind Hakureigame to stick around would have been good too. As for things yet to be done, the wide open sky is the limit! Still plenty of questions to be asked, blood to be liberated from meaty confines, and hooch to swill.]]